indestructible prokaryote

放假第一篇1

放假。天终于开了。一早跟宿舍的人们一起去爬山，简直乐不可言！非常健康有精神的一群人。不分国籍种族的混在一起, 一起吃饭, 住在隔壁, 假日更是一声吆喝就7:00am起床要去爬山。我睡到最后被他们挖起来。很难看可是很高兴！

我一向喜欢下山。但总是必须先上山。想到山米教过我们玩的上山下山的游戏。昔日的我们四人已经各分东西。山米回香港, 很可爱的为了庆祝妈妈的生日。我扪心自问，我会不会为了妈妈回去呢？自己出从大洋洲飞越太平洋的机票钱就为了让妈妈开心这样。为什么我就没有像这样做呢？留在堪培拉和弟弟相依为命的日子虽然不怎么样，就是睡时间跟吃东西。但两个虽然不是说很穷却很未雨绸缪的小孩却也是为了省钱，乖乖的呆在这里。

是啊我们长大以后, 总是乖乖的。脾气阿什么都没了。不容易生气。虽然，有对鱼发过火至少两次，但是我不知道她知不知道，那是因为我在乎。而对于身边最亲的人，share生活中左右东西整天见面，这样的摩擦很频繁。累计然后出乎意料之外的爆发。我都说不出口但是一生气，下一秒钟就后悔。好像刚才其实没有大脑。是无法控制的。

这个事情给我的教训是, still, 不要生气。学会控制自己的脾气很重要的吧。尤其当大家都把握看作大人的时候。不能再太轻易的说我不知道, 或哦随便拉你们决定。当大家都假定好我是做决定的人，我没有机会抛出问题或idea穷尽。我不行。因为他们不是我。所以不会懂，也没有预料我的不确定。所以我必须学习强权，take lead, 然后不退缩的扛责任。

多希望妈妈在身边，照顾我，抑或看到我的成长和坚强。她会不会骄傲呢？还是感叹我们翅膀硬了要飞走？所有时刻，我真希望妈妈能跟我们在一起。爸爸在哪里？我不知道。但是我做能做的不多，只能不断希望他想起我们爱他这件事，然后努力工作也照顾好自己。

放假，很棒。下山的过程中我想起了家里还没读完的小说和还没练的音阶。真忙！！！

未完的战役

昨天, 英勇的我写完了两份报告
那个有成就感呀~
但礼拜三的今天,我还有一份大报告要赶
每当放假之前总是有这种狼狈的处境
怨不了别人只能怪自己
上个break之前的大生物报告发回来了
虽然低空飞过
但还是感觉死得很难看

刚刚才跟山米讲
我根本不知道我那门课在expect什么
期末考的目标要订在那里我不知道
只有硬着头皮从lecture1 note开始看有希望才有成功！！

回顾小简

看了过去的blog, 一阵麻木, 接在一阵疼惜之后.

虽然当时的我说得好像自己很快乐,
只有当事人知道,为什么七八月之后就没下文了
难堪的事情, 在这个blog上没有记载
好像就比较阳光一点,
好像2005的我有多么幸福和纯真。

况且我看得出我的疑惑
当时和别人交往时我的巨大的不确定和疑惑
只是想着不要伤害到他
当他说他不确定时
跟他说确定
其实自己什么都不想要
第一年出国阿…我根本不习惯束缚.

现在的我懂了
我真正要的是自由
05年之前的我也曾大声说过
但就像光明没有黑暗就不太亮的道理一样
我当时没有失去自由的体验过
所以口号倒像是胡言乱语只为了吸引注意

今年的我倒真的有本钱大喊我爱自由.
前几天从华特同事的生日派对回家路上才跟他&鱼讲,
今年, 2007，使我人生到目前为止, 最好的一年.
大学二年级, 学了很棒的东西, 微生物, 生科, 保育生物, 脊椎动物生理,
上学期修的基因, 生物化学,化学, 光谱学,
都很有趣, 也有深度！终于有specialist的感觉！
更重要的是认识了好多很棒的人,
鱼莫尼卡华特宝拉山米卓安菲利克斯等等
加上弟弟和妈妈的加盟,mid-year的时候简直是一个人当两个人用！

参与了一堆音乐活动
费那的音乐剧, 各宿舍之间的才艺竞赛, 费那的才艺表演,
还组织了楼层的一堆有的没的活动
去爬山游泳吃印度菜去缇槟碧拉国家公园找吴伟雄, 还去坎城花节照了一堆相
还开始玩facebook & youtube
吉他也开始熟练起来 (当然还是副业….),。。。
我在有限的时间里仿佛做了无限的事
然后整个人就一个承诺自己要pass这学期全部的课！！！！

失眠时刻

这篇是短短的十四句，共享。

月亮懂你没有睡意的今晚
你微微抬头皱了皱眉又继续聊天
裂痕从镜子边缘开始延伸
到了你不可控制的速度
反而一下子能放弃担心
一身轻也一身空虚

当你寂寞时候
究竟是思绪饱满还是空洞无奈？
当你身处嘈杂
究竟是与众人共襄盛举
还是有种没有归属感的失落？
每天每天人们等着夜晚
以为睡过今天就能不被勉强回答这些问题

只有月亮知道你故意失眠

重新振作的大宣布

uni quota用尽, 就像操劳过度的北极熊精尽人亡。。。我那个恨阿...

不过总而言之, 就是要开始写了. 跟张冰星上msn的时刻一样让人无语, 总是只在大考之前看到他上网....

动力来自弟弟. 妈打电话过来说他又开始写字了.这小子,平常一副玩世不恭的蟑螂样,没想到遣辞用字的功力已经炉火纯青. 不可小觑.小辈们后来居上总是还没到岸, 我已有死在沙滩上的内疚感.对自己过意不去,没有持续写作.明明很爱写.每次停不下来, 却总是这样,像拉肚子,有一阵没一阵的。

倒也真的拉了一整天肚子. 仿佛在跟现阶段在上的微生物学相呼应似的, 学到被粪便污染的水, 就拉粪便污染了水. 可能是昨天的鱼汤. 不是不相信列能的主菜敬业程度,而是真的,不然我不知道是什么了！最近一直跟列能宝拉卓斯和鱼一起吃饭.吃得很快乐, 很多, 也可能于是,很不注意卫生.费那宿舍有名的巨大厨房有多少细菌和污染, 我不知道,也很不乐意去想象.总之，我们得吃得喝, 是要意犹未尽还是战战兢兢, 就看个人造化了。

废话总是讲不完. 昨天鱼说我也很中国. 之前我并用过这个比喻形容华特, 会弹吉他的神奇大猩猩. 当弹吉他就沉浸在自己世界完全不跟外界交流的人. 不中国难道他很美国？没想到自己竟然也是. 怎么从来都不自知？事实上，音乐已经成为我生命中越来越不可缺少的元素.没有音乐不能睡觉,一定要关电脑就用ipod,ipod 没电就用CD player. 插座都满了的话,至少睡觉之前要弹会儿吉他唱会儿歌. 比如昨天,就跟鱼练了john mayer 的 My stupid Mouth. 超好听....像在自言自语却又音符饱满...

废话真的是讲不完. 但晚饭还是要吃的.

More than one year....hahaha: THere is love

I can't quite believe you are not here any more
You're the person I wake up with,
You're the sound I listen to,
You're the sun that enrich my life.

But off you go,
I don't see you around.

Are you mad at us not pulling you back?
But you seem happy
going to somewhere that you really want
I should but I can't be happy for you
Because listening to your saying your decision
is so painful.
My throught was like Australia, so dry, and burning deep inside.
Because I know i'll be missing you
Missing you so bad, that I'm gonna write a lot of words instead of crying.

We're big girls, remember?
So we don't cry.

But now I'm sitting here,
waiting my inspiration to come to knock me out of the silence of essay deadline at 5pm,
I can't hlep shouting in my heart, that I am sad. Very unhappy.

Who's gonna eat that box of Nutrigrain and leave the milk in the morning?
Who's gonna keep the light on for me when I get back home?
Who's gonna say 'let's not cook tonight' and go down and buy chicken pack from the indian korean place?Who's gonna go shower with me together after dinner?
Who's gonna fight with me before sleep

I know you do this for me as well...
An empty room really sorts out a lot of problems.
But I've never thought of you leaving this way.
Not this early!
Not so sudden!
Not like this!

I miss you already.
But I'm gonna try to change this sorrow into power
Because we have so much love to give, to share, to enjoy the life with
So there's no time to look back and sigh all the time
We'll look forward and fight for ourselves independently, but spiritually together.

I really wish I can take care of you longer.(Or the other way around?haha...)
Be safe there too.
This is no good bye, I know,
But really, take good care.
And here's still your home.

Exactly 1 year-Blog anniversaryyyy

Cannot believe....it's been exactly one year since the last time i post a blog up here....feel the need to have a say at the present.

The reason I stop using this space is that, This site cannot be accessed from China, where most of my high school friends were there...But hey, it ends up doesn't matter at all as they are not watching anyway....Plus, This site becomes a fantastic place for my secret facts here in Australia, because my mom cannot access here either!

Bad me. But Sometimes I just need somewhere to post my writings...Not to show off, but more like to express myself to this unknown universe on the net, so I know there always somewhere I can fit myself in in this small world. I'm looking for a sense of belonging to be honest. I need to be needed...and find somewhere sometime somebody I can committ to.

Anyway, big day today. Exactly one year of the last post here, and the first day of semester 2 of my 1st year study in Canberra. Cold city, very far away from other civilizations in Australia as well. Don't know if it's the right decision to come, I kept asking myself the question when I experienced a strong sense of missing in Febraury. Don't know if it's the right decision to stay, now I question myself for not transferring to Melbourne or Sydney....maybe, maybe not, I have a feeling to escape in time.

Expecting this sem. Make it fun.

double decker in deep mountain~~so cold though

hurring picturing...but be the one in picture~~it was awkurd..

Patrick and little girl~~so sweet ar~~~want to get it

eric hugged by a so cute little boy~~~he got the look!hah~

tim playing, trying to break the device i think...ha

a traditional ancient magic well~~

see the shadow? of cloud!!!

moveable traffic light

it will be a wasted I don't be a photographer....but juli's really a nice nice model!!

ART on our way back

but just like the goldcoat experience, we ain't see no sun rise actually, but the color change of sky is indeed cherishable! the boyz kept on sleeping~~haha